Jello Legs

Milstory - True

 A Nonymous

I grew up watching the 1/9th, Air Cav, ride into battle to the sound of Wagner's "Valkyries" on Apocalypse Now.  When I got my first opportunity to conduct a helicopter assault on a training mission in the middle of a southwestern desert my heart started pounding as I approached the Blackhawk of death.  Unfortunately, I was the first one on the bird.

Being an ammo bitch on a 60 team I had the distinct pleasure of carrying a plethora of rounds and an obnoxious tripod - along with my pea shooter.  I placed the tripod in the back of me and sat down as others proceeded to mount the Blackhawk.  There was a Ranger to my right, a Ranger to my left, a Ranger in front of me and an asshole sitting on my legs!  The tripod was digging into my lower back.  My gunner's barrel was sticking in my kidney and I had an asshole sitting on my legs!

I sucked it up and drove on in good Ranger fashion, completely aware of the consequences if I started to snivel.  About half way through the flight I started to feel that distinct tinglin' feeling in my feet, then my calves, my legs next and soon I lost that tinglin' feelin'.  Of course the asshole sitting on my legs had his K-pot cocked back with his eyes comfortably closed as he caught a power nap at my expense.

I was quite excited when we reached the LZ.  I needed to get off that bird as soon as possible.   We touched down! 

"Go! Go! Go!" cried a Ranger squad leader.

I screamed to my legs:  "Go! Go! Go!"  I couldn't feel my legs!  Knowing that the chopper jockey wanted to kick his bird in the ass and fly away, I grabbed my tripod and rolled out of the chopper, landing face first in a dusty patch of moon-type dust complete with weeds laced with spurs.

Where was the music?